Personally having been wounded as a young child in the wake of my parents’ fighting and nasty divorce (I was 7 years old at the time) and consequently having suffered many years of much internal conflict, confusion and fears over all of this. Huge fears of rejection, abandonment and commitment took their unlawful place in my childhoods’ wounds and shattered reflections. As a young man riddled with these memories and fears I was very introverted and scared growing up. Scared to step out and be a part of anything in fear of doing it wrong or not being liked or risking getting emotionally attached to someone who would end up hurting me or leaving me.
I, like many, have carried these wounds and lies about myself and others from my past, up into many years of my own adulthood and still even to this day can find myself wrestling self defeating thoughts and these ugly fears that have over and over again attacked and hindered my Faith and Love. Thus, the somewhat thought provoking title of this blog.
You see, for years I have heard so much about Faith. I grew up in an area in Chicago that was the birthing ground for some of our earliest mega churches. Mega Churches who were all about Faith and Power! Two major forces that I have no problem with! As a matter of fact I have a lot of Faith in The Power of God! What was missing though for me as a young man in my teens and early adult years was The Message of God’s Faithful Love for me.
I was a wounded child dealing with issues of fear and abandonment who would have preferred a hug over 1,000,000 dollars any day. An assurance that God would never leave me or hurt me, was what I needed more than anything. I needed to know that God would love me and never forsake me. That he was going to be with me always and never hurt me. Thus, the antidote to all of my fears.
Unfortunately, whether by some twisted interpretation or skewed lens I was viewing and receiving things through, I sort of got an opposite message conveyed. As a young man in my early teens I was under the impression that God was kind and loving and was a great and amazing God but if I sinned or messed up or had impure thoughts or liked certain kinds of music or lusted girls or laughed at dirty jokes and so on, well, then I was bad and God’s love and faithfulness toward me might be forfeited and withdrawn. This only went to reinforce the very fears I was already living with. Throw the threat of “Hell”on top of all of this and I was right back where I had started. Fearing a God who may leave me and hurt me like I had perceived everyone else had.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” ~1st John 4:18
Unlike what I was taught either intentionally and wrongly by others or perhaps through my own misunderstanding as a child, I was led to believe that Faith was the answer to all my fears. Let me tell you, believing this I have pursued Faith. I pursued my understanding and desire to know Faith greatly, believing this was going to be my deliverance from fear. The problem I have come to find though, is that, “Faith” is not the answer or antidote to “Our Fear.”
God’s Love for us is the answer to all of our fears. The opposite of Faith may rightfully be doubt or unbelief (that can be another blog at another time), but the point I have in my cross heirs here is that “Faith” is not the antidote to our “fears.”
God’s perfect timing, unfailing and faithful Love toward us as his kids is…
Drink each one of these healing truths deep with me, because I believe that if you like me, have been trying to heal your deep fears with faith, unfortunately, this has been a lot like taking an Aspirin when we have needed a Much Stronger Antibiotic.
1. There is no fear in love
2. Perfect love drives out fear
3. Fear has to do with punishment
4. The one who fears is not made perfect in love
Simply put, if you are still fearing God as someone who may leave you or forsake you, like you feel others have, or if you see him as one who may hurt or abuse you like others may have. If you Fear opening your heart to him in fear of being hurt, forsaken or abandoned again, I understand; and let me assure you it’s not “Your Faith” that isn’t working.
It’s simply not first having this solid foundation of “His Love.”
Beloved, we are loved! With an Everlasting and Faithful Love!
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” ~ 1st John 3:1
You may have somewhere along the way been given the wrong impression of how “Our Father” disciplines those that he loves (as any good parent does.) In doing so there is still nothing to fear. He’s a Good, Good Father.
We need to know this and we no longer need to be slaves to fear.
If you have been like myself a long time sufferer of fear, I encourage and even implore you to watch the following and to receive a long overdue dose of love.
Faith conquers our doubts and unbelief. So if nothing else for those of us who have all grown in our Faith over the years seeking relief from internal fears!
Perhaps today we can begin to apply Our Faith to His Love!
To Have Faith in The Love He has for us as his kids!
God’s Faithful Love for us is the antidote to all of our unhealthy fears.